Background: Whether you call them broker, middle-man or agent, nothing much can happen without their presence in the real estate industry. They help us in finding our dream house and without them, it is impossible to easily find something in a big city(especially in India). But, in the process of finding our dream house, we also have to bear some strange situations that comes along with it.
In India, bachelors face much more problem because of social prejudice against them and special criterion set by the owners. Nevertheless, this poem does not mean to dishonor anyone. It is just an attempt to bring out those situation in slightly comic way.
If you have ever searched a house for renting/buying purposes,then you may relate yourself easier to this poem. This poem can especially written for Indian situations, so certain context may not be easily understood by readers, living outside the India.
Note: This poem is written in Hindi and in English. Subtitles and situational awareness has been provided, wherever seemed necessary.
Title: आप Party हैं या Broker
When you reach on time, everyone is late
When you reach late, everyone is shouting at you
जिंदगी मैं बेवकुफो की कमी नहीं हैं(There is no shortage of stupid people in life), embrace it
बस एक बेवकूफ चाहियें(You need only one stupid person), it may have a hearty laugh
Ignorance is really a bliss, if you can practice it
Renting a house easily is a myth, if you can dis-prove it
Moments of this pain-staking process cannot be ignore practically
But, ignoring the importance of broker will not go disproportionately
#Situation: A Youngster is deeply frustrated from a broker and house search, he is virtually talking to a broker(real estate agent)
आप party हैं या broker (Are you a party or broker)
या हैं Italian Job के Charlie Crocker (or the charlie crocker of the Italian Job)
लगता नहीं, हैं आप दीपावली के कोई Fire Cracker (You don’t look like firecracker of Diwali)
ओह हो, आप हैं इस building के broker (Oh! I see, You are the broker of this building)
#Youngsters especially face huge problems and brokers use different tricks to get them house, in return they ask for lot of money
फर्जी शादी हो या दिखावे का मंगलसूत्र (Fake marriage or the show-off of the wedding ring)
पार्टी का मोटापा देख झोली भरते हो खूब (Looking at size of party, feel your pockets deep)
कभी डराते हो, शाकाहारी एवं माँसाहारी के नाम पर (Sometimes you scare us on the name of vegetarian and non-vegetarian)
तो कभी करते हो इधर उघर की parade (Sometimes you make us to roam around unnecessarily)
Youngsters से आपकी अच्छी खासी दुश्मनी (Youngsters are your special enemies)
Family ना हो तो, टरका देते हो एक corner मैं हमें (If we are not married, you send us into one remove corner )
Inflation high हो तो या low exchange rate (Whether it is a high inflation or even low currency exchange rate)
रखते हो तराजू का पलड़ा अपनी तरफ ही heavy (You keep the bar of commission heavy always on your side)
#Commission world: Just like the Mafia World
Commission की दुनिया मैं आप हैं पुराने खिलाडी (You are veteran in the world of commissions)
चाहें होली हो या दिवाली (either it is the festival of holi or diwali)
भरती आपकी हैं, हर दिन currency से झोली (Your pockets are filled with currency daily)
50% discount season मैं भी चलती है no bargain policy (Even during the 50% discount season, you exercise no bargain policy)
मकान मालिक से लेकर किरायेदार, सब हैं आपके कद्रदान (Everyone is your beneficiary, from owner to tenant)
Furniture लगाने के नाम पर ले लेते हो पैसे आसान (You snatch away money so easily on the name of putting furniture)
हो पर contract मैं बनाते हो कइयों के eye witness (But still becomes eye witness in many of these house leasing contracts)
मानना पड़ेगा आप हैं real estate industry के खुदा गवाह (I accept!! You are the god of real estate industry)
#Changing face: Initially brokers chase you but once they have sold/rented the house, you chase them for different problems surfaced in your newly bought/rented house
वहा तक साथ चलते हो, जहा तक साथ मुमकिन हैं (You are with us, until you like to be)
जहा हालात बदल जाएँ, तुम भी बदल जाते हो (On changing situation, you also change)
पर E-commerce और customer is king के ज़माने मैं (but, in e-commerce and customer is king time)
क्या ख्याल हैं आपका return policy के बारें मैं? (What do you think about the return policy?)
तय कर रखे हैं तुमनें अपने standards (You have set your own standards)
फटे दूध के पिने पर जैसे मिलता हैं, bitterness का अहसास(Just like we experience bitterness after drinking the burnt milk)
Layer by layer धीरे धीरे खुलता हैं राज(layer by layer your hidden secrets gets unveiled)
कही पर बिजली हैं खली तो किसी मकान मैं पानी की मारी हैं जनता बेचारी (In some house there is no electricity and in house , people are complaining about the water)
#Politeness: What can a common man do?
क्या करे a common man बेचारा (But what a common man can do?)
सुख सुविधाओं के dream का हैं वो मारा (He is blinded by the luxuries of life)
सोचता हैं, हमेशा एक Flat/बंगला मिले न्यारा (Think of only finding a good flat/house)
पर तुम्हारें चक्कर मैं, खाता हैं approval की ठोकरे government offices के द्वारे
(but he run around the government offices to get approvals because of you)
#Need for brokers: We do need them, else things will never be good. Especially in Bengaluru, traffic jam is becoming a problem. So, companies need to allow work from home.
२१ century मैं भी आपका ना हैं कोई तोड़ (There is no alternative of you even in 21st century)
Facebook पर चाहें जितनी community बना ले (No matter, how many community person can form on the Facebook)
आपकी वजह से ही कईयों के घर हैं बसते (Many relationships are formed because of you)
और अनेको के खवाब हैं सजते (Many dreams are shaped by you)
In Bengaluru,
Companies need to give work from home
Home sweet home without a broker is a dilemma
Arranging advance on time became fastest finger game
Only Ussain Bolt can win changing houses race every time
#In the end
जो होता हैं ,happens for a reason. (Whatever happens, happens for a reason)
There is a take away, if you can figure out
Wishing every house hunters a good luck
Can be the most thoughtful way to get away from here
Special thanks to:
Entire team of the Bollywood Movie ‘Khosla Ka Ghosla’
&
Miss Suguna Dewan (https://twitter.com/SugunaDew)
(Many of her wonderfully crafted tweets became part of one line/paragraph in this poem)
Recitation details
Event: Let Poetry Be Monthly Meetup
Venue: Atta Galtta, Bengaluru
Date: 20.08.2016
Event theme: Free reading: Any theme is acceptable
Read the event summary here
Recitation video:
Disclaimer: This poem was written purely to entertain people and explain difficulties of life in an easier manner. This artistic work, in no way, intends to harm or dishonor the work of real estate industry and their workers.
For more information, please visit: http://www.ankitkhandelwal.in
Ankit Khandelwal 