Title: Errors Made During Eating Are Also genuine
Introduction: We all have some strange experiences during eating. It can be when trying a new dish, new place, or altogether a different style of eating. Sometimes, we also become suspicious of ingredients and inquire a lot before putting it above our tongue. This poem will bring you some of those strange incidents happened with some of the normal people.
Note: This poem is written in Hindi, English, and Hadoti languages. Subtitles are provided within brackets, wherever needed.
Accidentally biting Chili, increased tongue temperature to record high
Coincidentally creating excess absorb capacity of water in stomach
Mistake made during eating cannot be described
But errors during first time interaction with food can also be genuine
#Experience of my mother in first looking Maggi Noodles
Declared as the killer of hunger in just 2 minutes
Snake style spiral noodles raised several doubts
And, My mother considered it one of the non-vegetarian items
which, kept them always away form our sight
#Introduction of coffee in a village 20 years ago, experience of an annoyed villager
या कासी विदेशी चाय छे (What kind of foreign drink it is?)
दूध के नाम पर बड़ी कडवी प्याली चाय छे (So bitter taste on the name of milk)
जावेगा सभी परलोक मैं अपमान के कारने (All of you will go to hell)
शादी मैं बुलावा वाला कंजूस मक्कार छे (The people who invited me for this wedding are so lazy (could not prepare tea) and so less expending people)
#First time eating experience in a multi cuisine expensive restaurant
स्टार्टर के नाम पर पिलाते हैं टमाटर का झोल
(They serve tomato water on the name of starter)
जैसे हम हैं छोटे बच्चें, जिन्हें जरुरत हैं चावल के पानी की to prevent dehydration
(Like we are small kids, who need rice water to prevent dehydration)
खाने के लिए हो भले ही दिश हज़ार
(There might be thousands dish to eat in the menu card)
पर ४ कोर्स मिल पर जेब कटने पर क्या हम डालेंगे आचार
(But if our pocket gets empty in paying for 4 course meal, what will we do afterwards?)
पानी वाली चाय बनी dip tea (The tea mixed with water is now called deep tea)
गोभी की हो गयी शादी और बन गयी gobhi manchurian 65 (Cauliflower got married and become new dish named Ghobhi Manchurian 65)
कडाई पनीर अब आता हैं बाल्टी मैं (Kadai panner is now coming in a bucket)
रेगिस्तान की हो गयी हैं entry खाने की table पर
(Desert is also introduced at the eating table)
So called finger bowl with lemon inside
I drank it considering a healthy drink without respite
People are becoming so lazy in the washing hand
Giving 20 Rupees extra tip just to do it at the table with 15% extra tax at the end
Eating first time with knife and Fork
Needed to put both the hands at fight
Could not comprehend the eating style
Finally ate everything with hand like a desi पूरी भाजी स्टाइल (Indian style of eating)
#First time experience of eating fast food, when many people moved from small town to big cities
Pizza hut was a good place to hide
In a chilling heat A/C brought some respite
A though chapati with some tomato without घी (butter) on the top
Extra cheese make it only बेस्वाद (tasteless)
Burger at MacDonald looked like another पाँव भाजी(An Indian dish similar to burger)
Just that it was only inserted with small पकोड़ा (Indian dish) between the bread
If they are only selling the पाव भाजी
Then are they charging so much for selfie with MacD हैं जी (Isn’t it?)?
Subway बना उपवास खोलने की जगह
(Subway became place to open fast)
जो बिना नमक और कम तेल के, जो खाना हैं खाएं
(Anyway can order food with less salt, spicy or oil and eat the way they like)
पर इसमें भी बहुत जाने हुए confuse
(But many people got confused even in this simple arrangement)
Mushroom के size की वजह से शाकाहारी एवं माँसाहारी के बिच हुए कयिओं के बल्ब फ्यूज
(The size of mushroom makes many people suspicious and they got unable to differentiate between vegetarian and non-vegetarian)
#Ending
खाने के साथ किये गए एक्सपेरिमेंट, होते हैं मजेदार
(Experiments done with food are always enjoyable)
कभी नमक कम तो कभी जली हुए खीर
(Sometime less salt then sometimes burnt food)
कभी बेस्वाद करेला तो कभी कडवी पालक
(Sometimes tasteless vegetable than sometimes bitter spinach)
पर, सब के सब हजम होते हैं पेट मैं सही सलामत
(Everything digests in our stomach singing ‘all is well’)
Special Thanks To
This poem is a work of crowd-source intelligence. Lot of people have provided me ideas and I added some of the my own thoughts into it. Without naming any of their names, let me thank them once again for helping out in writing this poem.
Recitation details
Event: Let Poetry Be Monthly Meetup
Venue: Atta Galtta, Bengaluru
Date: 16.07.2016
Event theme: ‘Food’
Read more about the event: https://ankitkhandelwal.in/2016/07/18/food-evening-poems-on-food-lpb/
Disclaimer: This poem was written purely to entertain people and brought beautiful experiences of life into a new flavor. This artistic work, in no way, intends to harm or dishonor anyone. It is purely a work of fiction and needed to be read in the same way.
Reproduction: It can be read, re-distributed, re-published with proper referencing.
Ankit Khandelwal 